


The Santiago Drunkenness Scale: Romantic Stylez

by TheWorldIsOurCliche



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 12:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15863343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWorldIsOurCliche/pseuds/TheWorldIsOurCliche
Summary: Everyone knows the single-Santiago Drunkenness Scale. But how does it look post Jake and Amy getting together? Welcome toThe Santiago Drunkenness Scale: Romantic Stylez





	The Santiago Drunkenness Scale: Romantic Stylez

Everything was back to normal - or as normal as it could get after Holt got transferred to PR, the new captain died from a heart-attack, everyone suffering under the Vulture’s horrible leadership and three incompetent messages of hope. To some extent: normal.

Most of the funeral-guests had quickly slipped out of the bar during or right after Terry’s very passionate speech about Mango Yogurt and loss, but a few people stuck around for a bit longer. Besides a few of Dozermann’s old friends and colleagues, the Nine-Nine squad made up a big percentage of the remaining guests. For the first time in a long while, forever it seemed, they were all gathered around a big, round table in one of the bar’s booths.

“I am not one to get sentimental,” Holt cleared his throat before continuing, “but I just want you to know that I know Captain Pembroke is a agony in the tail-“

“A pain in the ass, you mean? Just to clarify for everyone who doesn’t speak robot,” Jake looked around at everyone to check, jokingly, before diverting back to Holt’s dead pan.

“But…” Holt broke the stare he’d momentarily kept on Jake, further ignoring his childish mocking, before continuing with his little speech. “I am proud of how well you are handling it. I know it is not an easy task, and that it can be hard to work under his command, but you are still living up to your great brilliance and that is what matters the most to me. To the Nine-Nine,” he finished off the sentence by raising his glass, inviting the rest to join him.

“Nine-Nine!” They all cheered, raising their glasses and bottles in unison before taking a gulp of their preferred drink. As he was taking his own swig, Jake looked to his right and noticed that his girlfriend - Thanks to Holt, he still got to call her that - kept drinking.

“Wow there, tiger. Someone’s eager to finish that,” he sent her a soft smile to accompany his lightly concerned slash teasing comment. Amy was a grown woman and could whatever she pleased, but there was also very a good reason behind the fact that ‘The Santiago Drunkenness Scale’ existed. Once you see Amy Santiago boldly ask her captain for a raise, claiming that everyone else around her is useless - whilst wearing her jammies - there’s no going back.

A frown crept onto her face in response as she took another gulp before finally putting down the glass bottle. “It’s just one drink, Jake.”

“I know, I know,” he raised his hands like perp, showing that he wasn’t about to attack her further. “But you also had a beer, when we were listening to the messages of hope earlier.”

 

“I barely touched that,” she smiled softly in an attempt to convince him. “It’s not one beer that’s gonna throw me off…”

“Technically, since you did have a few sips of your beer earlier - and don’t tell me you didn’t because I noticed - it’ll be a drink and a quarter.”

“Shut up,” she pouted, looking stupidly adorable in Jake’s eyes, before bringing the glass bottle to her mouth and downing the rest in one swig. Seconds later, having had her share of beers at Shaw’s during her time in the 9-9, it was empty and a ‘clonk’ resounding through the room as Amy basically hammered her now empty bottle into the surface of the wooden table. “There. Now get off my back and let’s just _chill_.” The last word came out very chill, maybe even too chill for Amy Santiago’s usual preppy and ready personality.

Jake’s right brow immediately rose, crooked with doubt yet amusement, at his girlfriend’s sudden need to prove herself and light change of personality. He himself wouldn’t know how it felt, but he understood why it was a in her DNA to do so after growing up with so much competition from her seven brothers.

He leaned in to her, smiling as he felt her dark hair tickle his lips. “One drink Amy coming up,” the whisper in her ear was more a statement than a taunt, but Jake would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy teasing her a bit. Their new status as couple had and would never change that. He was born to admire and constantly badger Amy Santiago. For one, his breath tickled her ear when he whispered into it; secondly, there was no way she would let him taunt her like that without countering. After nudging him away from her with her shoulder, though she kinda secretly still got butterflies in her stomach whenever he was this close to her - thank God they got out of the friend zone, she couldn’t help but think - she rolled her eyes and gave him a cold look.

“Maybe I should’ve just let the Vulture break us up…”

Jake’s big mouth immediately dropped wide open, knowing she was just retaliating but also taken back by the gravity of her words. Since when was one drink Amy mean. He squinted his eyes, pulling himself together and closing his mouth, forcing it into a straight line.

“Can that one drink please just kick in, so I don’t have to deal with this cruel treatment?”

“Whatever, _Peralta_. It is an ill bird that fouls its own nest,” she grabbed her bottle with an energetic swoop of the arm. “I’m going to hand this in at the bar, because I’m a _grown woman_ who cares about the planet and recycles. Then bathroom.”

He slumped back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched her slide out of the booth and walk away. Ouch. Peralta, he thought. Last name basis. This was definitely some serious banter.

10 minutes later, as everyone was in deep conversation about one of Captain Holt’s old, amazing cases, Amy slumped down into the empty spot next to Jake. He did notice, but was too caught up with Holt’s anecdote to physically act on it. The conversation kept flowing, everyone laughing, awing and listening with great interests whenever Holt narrated. A few minutes after Amy’s return, Holt said something that caused the group to laugh out loud. After they all caught their breaths, coming down from the hilarious high, a comfortable silence - caused by the fact that everyone was taking a sip of their drink - swallowed the group.

“Wait… What?” Amy breathed out, frowning and breaking the silence.

Jake’s head immediately snapped to look at her, smiling widely with excitement and satisfaction. Everyone else’s attention was all of the sudden on her as well.

“There she isss. **1 drink Amy** , baby!”


End file.
